I am writing this piece because the first step to cure a disease starts with an acknowledgement. So here I am taking my first baby step!

This is a monster that you constantly have to deal with, he lurks in the shadows all the time of the day and night somewhat like a lion ambushes the weakest prey from the herd.

Each time you let your guards down, that monster attacks and takes your mind in its grips and then takes it to a ride that seems to never end.

Every word that I have typed in has been a constant struggle, it’s like I am in the constant grip of that monster and each time I have to do something, the monster does let me go, he is very stubborn and a fight against him is like like fighting a dementor who is constantly trying to suck good feeling from you(Writing till now has taken more than 45 mins cause of the constant breaks I take to feed that monster).

He can turn you into something less than a greenhouse emitting, constantly littering slug who even has less value than it, ecologically.

The monster just took me back in its clutch, every word that I type right now is a fight for my sanity. Though I am still trying to write while it feels like the oxygen is getting drained from my body.

I don’t know if I can keep that monster at bay anymore, so lets quickly jump back to the story, as back as I can remember, I had always suffered from ADHD but back when I was a child, there were few things to fuel your ADHD and I was never that physical, so I remember that I fueled my ADHD craving through books and stories, be it Harry Potter or Encyclopedias, I have read them all.

I and my brother use to make elaborate games which were all in our imagination. One of our favorites was in where we were brothers who run a fast food truck and travel all around the country selling fast food. In another, we had made an entire universe of rogue soldiers and the armies that are chasing them.

But since the arrival of the smartphone, which I got in senior school, life has never been the same, now I can fuel my ADHD with the clicks of just a few buttons, watch random videos, Reddit, 9GAG and many more things.

I don’t remember doing anything productive since then, now I can listen to my favorites song with few clicks, masturbate by few more and being productive is just not suited for my ADHD when it has a plethora of option keep it full-bellied.

According to me, we have wiped up all the progress by our ancestors to make our mind capable in just the last 10 years. So for me, Steve Jobs will always be a supervillain.

So from………………..(its been more than 30 mins since I have typed). This is how ADHD works and in this overconnected world, I have been caught in a loop where after doing nearly everything, I have to watch the memes or just scroll down notification bar for no reason whatsoever from which I am unable to escape.
Although according to data 6.8% of the population is also suffering from the disease. I think we all have become the slave of technologies, the same technology which was supposed to make our lives more productive.

I am already succumbing as that monster has taken control of my mind. So this is how much I can write. Just pray for my mental well being.


Trying to tame my monster